20 Something Soul Searching
This will be off topic from a usual post about a new lip color I love, so if that's not your thing.. turn back now. I found myself creeping my own instagram tonight. I mean really creeping. Years back creeping. It's always really interesting to see how far you have come. I love to use my instagram to share the things I love and connect with others who love the same things. I love to use it to express my thoughts and hopefully help others who are going through the same things that I am. I often wonder how people perceive me through my photos. As crazy as I am with my social media, it's really more of a storybook for me to look back on later and not so much important if the world loves it or not. But nights like tonight I'm grateful to have it to reflect and maybe reach an audience who could use what I have to say.
Your 20's are such a confusing time, full of soul searching, and just trying to figure out where you are going. I came across a post I captioned "This is the part that you find out who you are". As silly as it is... my captions do always have a real meaning. It was honestly a really huge day for me. A day that I had to decide whether I was going to put my hopes and dreams aside and go along with someone else's plan, or whether I was gonna stand up for myself and do what I wanted to do and what I knew in my heart to be right. I remember every emotion I had that day just glancing back at that picture. (This is beginning to be rambling I promise there is a point in here somewhere).
At 24, I can finally say I am beginning to figure out who I am. I have finally began to live for myself. We live in such a world that we are so expected to go along with the masses. I have always felt that pressure from a really young age and I have always wanted to go against it. With age I am learning to just do what I want. If something does not make me happy why would I do it? Do what you want and the people who accept you and love you for you will still be there. And if not, they weren't meant for you. You can only try so hard to force something. I still have so much to learn about what I want in life, but I now know what I absolutely do not want. I do not what to change myself to please someone. That being said you should always push your boundaries and challenge yourself. You can not always stay in your comfort zone. But the one piece of advice I wish I could give my young(er) self is that if your gut is telling you no, trust your instincts. I'm mostly writing this to keep myself accountable and keep on this track but I really hope that maybe it helps a few of you as well. I really just want to empower women and let you know your voice matters. You are your own person and you do not need validation from anything else but you loving yourself.
Lots of love to all you girls out there. Whether we know each other in real life or instagram life, I appreciate your support through the years. xoxo
